08 Oct

There is Power in Positivity: 4 Things To Get You Started


There is great power in positivity. Whenever I ask a client what they want to see more of in their life, they seemed stumped.  We are very good at knowing what we don’t want, finding the negative and wanting to dwell on it. It seems to be human nature, the idea that if we can just go over the negative stuff we can find the answer.

The answer really is identifying what brings us joy and spending our day identifying the positive and trying to focus on an abundance of just that.  Let’s face it, being positive has never made anyone feel worse!

Learned optimism is something you can teach yourself. A quick Google search shows that on any given day our brain makes about 35,000 decisions.  Now imagine if those decisions were focused on the positive. We could choose the decision that brings us more joy, the one that makes us feel happier.

Make a Conscious Choice

Every morning when you get up, set your intention for the day.  Is it going to be a good day or are you going to choose stress and negativity? Start by remembering what you are grateful for and that can guide you in setting your intention. It might be that you are grateful for the beautiful fall weather.  That might mean that your intention is to enjoy every moment you get to spend in it.  Maybe park a bit further from the office or step outside for lunch.

Embrace Positivity

Find out what positivity is all about.  Add a few positivity pages to your Facebook likes.  This will populate your Facebook feed with good things when you check it.  You will start to notice that those negative headlines disappear and are replaced with new ideas and ways to be positive.  We like to follow Happify  because they share tips and thoughts to help us bring more happiness into our life. Positive Energy + is another  great page that is filled with inspiring quotes and positive media stories.

Choose You

One of my favourite blogs is Positively Present.  Dani’s tips are simple, honest and very practical. In her article on making positive life choices, she suggests listening to your instinct and doing what is best for you.  How often do you do something that doesn’t feel right but you do it anyway? It may not be the best decision for you but it is the easier choice that won’t ruffle any feathers.

Do Something You Have Never Done Before

Make it fun, do something that you wouldn’t normally do.  Attend an auction, volunteer at a food bank, go see a car race, have your eyebrows shaped, take a cooking class, speak in front of a large group……the list is endless but it has to be unique to you.  If you are one to put everyone before yourself then focus on doing something for you, if you never step outside your comfort zone then take a leap or if you are stuck in a rut and never do anything different then think outside the box. Ask a friend who knows you well for some suggestions and you will be well on your way to a more positive and happier you


13 Mar

Take time to nurture your soul!

When our soul is tired no amount of sleep will fix it.  It is important to make your happiness and wellness a priority.

5 Things you can do to feed your soul.


Take a breather, or rest for a couple of hours one afternoon when the world feels like it is getting away on you.  We can find creativity and energy when we allow ourselves time to rest and regenerate.  Our mind can get overloaded with day to day things and it is pretty challenging to find room for more.  So curl up on the couch with a good book or just let yourself be with some calming music and a cup of chai.  Do whatever it is that you enjoy, let yourself be still if that is what you need or go for a walk and feel the energy of nature. Choose your way to replenish.


Be with the people who make you happy.  Make time to see that friend that you enjoy spending time with and that makes you smile.  Humans need social connection and when our soul is tired this is one of the first things to go.  It doesn’t have to be a full out social event but rather a chance to talk and laugh together.  Sometimes sharing helps us to put things into perspective.


Laughter really is great medicine.  According to Gaiam it helps lower blood pressure and stress hormones but it boosts t cells.  Laughter also brings with it a sense of wellbeing.  So turn on that old episode of I Love Lucy and find a bit of inner joy.


Grey’s Anatomy fans know that when the going gets tough Meredith has been known to encourage her friends to “dance it out.”  A quick Google search tells us that on campuses across North America dancing to relieve stress is effective and fun.  This strategy to feed your soul can be done with others or in the privacy of your own space.  Pop in those ear buds and give it a try.  We recommend creating a “dance it out” playlist which you can have with you at all times because you never know when the mood might strike.

Be Kind

Doing something kind for others feels good.  In an article by tiny buddha they remind us that “being kind to others is being kind to yourself.”  This isn’t always easy but being positive and kind usually makes it more difficult for others to respond in a negative manner.  Setting your intention to be kind for the day can bring some pleasantly unexpected results.


04 Sep

Getting Unstuck


With the change of the season many of us find ourselves a bit introspective and thinking about making a change ourselves. This week we want to look at getting unstuck.

At points in our lives most of us find ourselves feeling stuck.  In order to make changes we have to recognize that we’re stuck and decide to do something about it.  Being stuck can mean many things.  It can be a thought loop, a behaviour, a routine, a feeling but what’s clear is that you feel as though it just can’t change, you feel stuck.

Getting unstuck means making a change but sometime it is easier to ignore what isn’t working in our lives, but then we remain stuck.  In 7 Ways to Get Unstuck the author points out, we might have to take a risk. Taking life to the next level doesn’t happen without at least a little risk.  Look before you leap and examine what isn’t feeling right in your life and how you might feel if that changed.

An Internet search suggests that this problem isn’t uncommon.  There is actually a website dedicated to Unstuck Life Courses.  To get started we identify the barrier or quite simply ask the question What is stopping you? It is easy to be complacent because honestly, change is hard.  Who really wants to do something hard when life feels exhausting already.

Be clear in what you are looking for in this change and think about the benefits.  What positive payoffs are there for getting unstuck?

Talk to people in your life that have made a change.  People love to talk about their achievements, just ask them.  Although every situation is different the commonality is positive change.  Knowing that someone else was able to get unstuck can be quite inspiring. Take some time to inspire yourself.  Change your environment with a new plant or do something that makes you smile.  Small changes mean you are on the road to bigger changes.

Make a plan.  How are you going to get there?  Be concrete but leave room for revisions because sometimes the plan requires a bit of tweaking when life gets in the way.  Be kind to yourself and focus on the end game.  You are going to feel happier and more fulfilled when you become unstuck. Be realistic blogger Kristy Campbell points out in Getting Unstuck .

So get started and do something for you. Today take 5 minutes to view this motivational video by Iyanla Vanzant on How To Get Unstuck and you will be grateful you did.


02 May

Believe in the positive


Every day we make choices on how we are going to respond to things.  It can be a change at work, something someone said or just a fleeting thought.  We decide whether to think positively or negatively.  Sometimes when we are anxious or feeling down our minds go to the negative thought more readily.

In counselling we look at the concept that for every negative thought there is a positive one.  What would the outcome be if we chose to believe in possibilities and opportunities?  When we close the door on a negative thought we open the door to options.  In a Huff Post article they took a look at the science behind positive thinking.  A negative thought can take over your life but positive thoughts create positive emotions such as joy and contentment.  This sounds like a much better option.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to see Dr. Wayne Dyer speak.  His positive energy and motivation is something I will never forget as it seemed to linger with me for weeks after seeing him.  His book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life is still a mainstay on my recommended reading list.  He asked audience members to think about their dreams and aspirations and what was holding them back.  One audience member said they wanted to start their own business but she couldn’t do so for financial reasons.  His response was to suggest that the barrier was a mental construct, a barrier that stopped her from achieving her dream.  What if she were to say “I am going to start a business” and just believed in the possibility?  Two ways of thinking….one a dead end with the only option being failure and the other with the power of possibility.

If you aren’t sure where to start, take a minute from your day and think about something that didn’t go well or made you think negatively.  Stop and think about what the alternative positive  thought might be and write it down.  Do this every day for a week and take a look at your list at the end of the week.  Was this hard or did it start to come easier as the week went on? Keep a note book by your bed or jot it down on your phone.  The idea is that your brain will start to welcome the changes in thinking and you will find yourself making room for the positive and what a wonderful way to believe that things can be different.

28 Feb

What Are You Thinking? Change your Thoughts


Our minds are pretty powerful tools that can help us or sometimes be a barrier to our success.  Try some of these simple changes when a negative thought comes your way.  Instead of giving up, think about the strategies you have learned in counselling and put them into practice.  If you haven’t been to see a counsellor lately then maybe it is time for a mental health tune up.  Call us at Lidkea Stob and Associates, 905-684-5050 for an appointment .

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