31 Aug

Letting Go of Toxic People


We all have them, people who make us second guess ourselves or continually create chaos and pain in the lives of those around them. We may not be able to remove them from our lives entirely but we can certainly set limits to shield ourselves from the negativity.

A toxic person is someone whose behaviour is frequently negative, unkind and sometimes wounding.  Relationships with people like this are often unhealthy and can effect us emotionally.  Not sure if the person you are thinking of is a toxic person? Take a look at  Psych Central’s, What’s A Toxic Person and How Do You Deal with One? They outline some signs that you might be surrounded by a toxic person. If you recognize some of these red flags then it is time to take steps to care for yourself.

In 8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People one of the keys to dealing with them in an emotionally intelligent way is that they don’t allow other people to limit their joy.  Not allowing others to impact our mental wellbeing is important to our own mental health.  We make choices about giving power to others and in doing so we give them permission to impact our state of mind.  What if we said “no” to this and stayed focused on on our goals or as in #4 we remained solution focused.  Keep your eyes on your own goals and what you are setting out to achieve. Others can sometimes deflect us from our path.

Modelling the behaviour you want to see can help.  7 Strategies for Dealing with Toxic People gives a few helpful tips such as this. Remember we can’t change other people but we can change how we respond to them.  Demonstrate how to positively deal with a situation. If you are positive and consistent it can help you feel happier and this can have an impact on the toxic person.  It may take some time but it can happen with patience and kindness.

Think about what you want to see more of in your life and focus on that.  Focusing on the negative can sometimes bring more of what we don’t want into our lives.  So be kind to yourself and practice empathy and compassion and you will be on the road to a happier more at peace you.  The side effect may be that family member or colleague you are thinking about might be affected in a positive way too!



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